Women in India are often exposed to oppression and violence through rape culture and the traditional cultures that are practiced in their society; As a result, this is preventing their developing country to further progress and advance into a developed country.
You did a good job explaining your side of the argument in your thesis. It is concise and to the point. A minor edit you may want to make is that using the word "culture" twice in your thesis sounds a little awkward. Also I would remove the "as a result" and instead try a smoother transition. Overall it is a strong thesis and gets the reader's attention.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ben, this thesis is very well written and orchestrated perfectly. However, it seems like it may have been able to be written with a little less choppiness. Overall, it's a great thesis nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteGreat ideas but you need to fix up the grammar...
ReplyDelete