Thursday, December 3, 2015

Thesis- North Korea

The manner of which the North Korean government treats its citizens is a concern to the world because of the distribution of inhumane punishments, creation of unjust laws, and relentless persecution of political protestors which causes them to be denied the basic rights of humanity.
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3 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 4, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    It is a good thesis, but in the end you many want to change "which causes them..." to "in which all of these cause..."

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  2. AnonymousDecember 4, 2015 at 5:21 PM

    Sick thesis Ben!! It is well-structured and there is a clear argument. However, as suppose to saying "the world" I would recommended something more on the lines of "the global community".

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  3. jlfridayDecember 8, 2015 at 8:39 AM

    Not sure that "distribution" is the right word here. You are on the right track but need to work on grammar to improve clarity.

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