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Saturday, December 5, 2015
Thesis - Equity of Disabled People
The social status and treatment towards the disabled vary greatly within the countries in the Middle East, and differ tremendously in some cases when compared to the standards of the United Nations and the United States.
I like the argument your thesis is making, however you have to be careful since you used "vary" instead of "varies" and "differ" instead of "differs". Other than these grammatical mistakes, your thesis is strong.
Be sure that your thesis is making an argument - this seems to be more a statement of fact. What is the status of the disabled? Are they treated poorly? It will be helpful to address these points in your thesis statement.
Your thesis has the right information in it and presents it in the correct way however it lacks a point. I mean that your thesis lacks the necessary argument or position in order for you to be able to support it. I would also maybe focus on one or two countries in the Middle East in order to compare their standards to that of the United Nations and the United States.
I like the argument your thesis is making, however you have to be careful since you used "vary" instead of "varies" and "differ" instead of "differs". Other than these grammatical mistakes, your thesis is strong.
ReplyDeleteBe sure that your thesis is making an argument - this seems to be more a statement of fact. What is the status of the disabled? Are they treated poorly? It will be helpful to address these points in your thesis statement.
ReplyDeleteYour thesis has the right information in it and presents it in the correct way however it lacks a point. I mean that your thesis lacks the necessary argument or position in order for you to be able to support it. I would also maybe focus on one or two countries in the Middle East in order to compare their standards to that of the United Nations and the United States.
ReplyDelete