Thursday, December 3, 2015
Thesis - Food Scarcity in Zimbabwe
Zimbabwe was once regarded as one of the most prosperous countries in Africa; however, over the years, political corruption, economic instability, and the harsh climate have attributed to food scarcity and starvation, both of which adversely affect millions of families each year.
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Good work for using strong vocabulary that fits your topic. I believe it is to the point, however I think it resembles more of a main idea than a statement providing support for your side of the argument. This is similar to the type of problem I was having, but I believe if you kept the same ideas, and just changed the wording of your thesis to make the situation seem like a problem that the world needs to be concerned about (state my last few words directly) I think it will be more assertive and be a stronger thesis.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ben, your thesis could have a stronger argument. I also believe that the implementation of the phrase "attributed to food scarcity and starvation, both of which adversely" makes the overall statement a little bit choppy.
ReplyDeleteExcellent feedback from your peer reviewers - heed their advice!
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